so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
