Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the day after is always just damage control
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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