shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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