i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
