Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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