is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize