the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
