Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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