BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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