Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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