that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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