What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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