He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My vagina is officially offended.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I touched a dick in church today
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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