I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
