She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
that is very illegal...i love you.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
