im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
