yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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