Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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