It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
