also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
