he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
