why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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