So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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