i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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