I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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