Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
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I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
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I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.