its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I think even the taco bell employees judged me