I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
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I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
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he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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