if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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