I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You need Xanax blowdarts
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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