Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
