I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
