I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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