Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
