Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
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