so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
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Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
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Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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