my sisters under your porch take her home
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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