dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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