Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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