That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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