Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
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There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
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The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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