best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
false alarm, still single
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