he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
