Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
