Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
