i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
