I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
