grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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