If that was your dad, he is hot
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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