walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
