There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
