Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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