Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
