I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Come share oat with me in your robe
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
