worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
