Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
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Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
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My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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