So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
