He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Congratulations! We have a period
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