I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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