Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
