Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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