hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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