I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
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I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
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She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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