I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
