What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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